Friends and family members excitedly anticipate
Friends and family members excitedly anticipate celebratingthis major life-changing event with you, and many will comment how you both will have an eternity to plan your life together. But what is meant by planning? By planning, they mean not only planning your wedding, but also where you will live, how many children you want, what roles you will play, and more. The thought of this can be overwhelming. As a newly engaged couple, you can easily become caught in the whirlwind of creating the perfect day symbolizing your union and your commitment to one another. And while this process is meaningful and important regardless of the size of your wedding, it’s equally (if not more important) to carve out some time to discuss expectations, household roles, family values and marriage vision.
Deciding on a family structure and values you and your spouse would like to create is important for you and important before bringing a new member into the family. Often, couples assume this conversation has taken place to an adequate degree simply by making a few heart-felt promises. For example, you might have made a promise with your spouse to never go to bed angry or to never lie. And at the time the promises were made, you believed completely these commitments would be upheld. But unfortunately, life sometimes throws couples curves and blindsides them with the unexpected.
Consider the couple who decides to have a child, and after the birth of that child, one partner stays home while the other becomes the sole provider. A few years pass, and suddenly the one partner loses their job. The shame and perhaps embarrassment of not being able to fulfill their role may provide an incentive to hide the truth from their partner hoping a little time will allow a new job to be found. But in the mean time, the other partner finds out and is emotionally hurt by the person in whom they believed. In such instances, emotions can get the better of reason. Before you know it, a couple previously approaching life’s obstacles and joys as one suddenly finds themselves divided through heated confrontations and arguments. One partner feels betrayed while the other perceives blame and resentment being directed at them. What had begun as a blissful union has now turned into two people disconnected and hurt.
In many areas of life, you must invest time and energy into learning the facts and improving your skills in order to excel. Succeeding in a relationship requires the same commitments. Unfortunately, a minority of couples take such investments seriously. In order to get your engagement and marriage off on the right foot, seeking professional counseling for premarital therapy is important. Not only will it enhance the longevity of your marriage, but it will also provide each of you with a deeper understanding of your relationship and the tools you will need to make the marriage successful
