Be Intentional

Deciding on a family structure and values you and your spouse would like to create is important for you and important before bringing a new member into the family. Often, couples assume this conversation has taken place to an adequate degree simply by making a few heart-felt promises. For example, you might have made a promise with your spouse to never go to bed angry or to never lie. And at the time the promises were made, you believed completely these commitments would be upheld. But unfortunately, life sometimes throws couples curves and blindsides them with the unexpected.

Consider the couple who decides to have a child, and after the birth of that child, one partner stays home while the other becomes the sole provider. A few years pass, and suddenly the one partner loses their job. The shame and perhaps embarrassment of not being able to fulfill their role may provide an incentive to hide the truth from their partner hoping a little time will allow a new job to be found. But in the mean time, the other partner finds out and is emotionally hurt by the person in whom they believed. In such instances, emotions can get the better of reason. Before you know it, a couple previously approaching life’s obstacles and joys as one suddenly finds themselves divided through heated confrontations and arguments. One partner feels betrayed while the other perceives blame and resentment being directed at them. What had begun as a blissful union has now turned into two people disconnected and hurt.